Orphanage

Orphanage: our neighbor, Jan, takes me and Elizabeth to the orphanage every Monday now. It's about a 20 minute drive. Jan has a driver while her husband works so it works out very well. People tell me that you are supposed to get a card or something and you can't just go inside, but so far every time I just walk in and sign my name. They also check our temperature every time. The orphanage smells really bad. I think it smells the worst in the infant room, and that's where I go most of the time. It smells really bad because the babies just sit in their throw up the whole day and they only get washed once a week. I work in the orphanage for 2 hours and in that two hours I hold the babies, wipe their faces, and feed them. The rooms are starting to get really cold now and the ayis always leave the windows open. I don't know whether to keep them open or closed because of the smell. At least the babies are kept very wrapped. Most of them right now are getting sick and they shake but there's really nothing I can do about that. So many of these babies have something wrong with them. Alot of them have heart conditions so they look very blue all the time. Some of them have abnormally large heads and their eyes twitch or their cross eyed. Many of the babies who have been there for quite a while look like they lost hope in their eyes. You can tell they are just gone in their minds. They won't even hold up their arms or look at anyone. They don't do anything. It's the saddest thing in the world. I look at some of the really beautiful babies and I just think why. I wonder why I'm even here. How did I get so lucky? I wish everyone can see this. Maybe more people at high school wouldn't act like a bunch of retards. I can only feed one baby the whole time I'm there. And they drink their bottle like they've never had anything to eat before. These babies never get burped. The ayis just give them their bottles laying down and take it away after and that's it. We can't tell whose a boy or a girl by just looking at them. The babies are usually not dressed according to their gender. They have a little name card above their crib and Jan asks me who's a boy or girl. Luckily I can read at least that much characters. Every baby has the same surname. Once we leave all the babies are quiet from being held and fed. Me, Elizabeth and Jan are pretty quiet too.